Drying With Fakes and Fears
by Soulless Traveler
Summary: Sometimes having a second chance to live is not a blessing but a curse. What if you are so afraid of death you are willing to do anything to survive...even if it means killing your loved ones? Being reborn in a place outside Konoha can be rather cruel...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: I'm not that Naive

Rating: M

Summary: Sometimes having a second chance to live is not a blessing but a curse. What if you are so afraid of death you are willing to do anything to survive...even if it means killing your own family? Being reborn in a place outside Konoha can be rather cruel. ...

_Being born in a world of ninjas is the worst thing that can happen to you. _

I didn't know what to expect after my…death. The priest had come to see me, talked about how good God was, that there would be no pain, no diseases, no death. I listened to the words that offered me no comfort as mother smiled sadly beside me. I didn't want to die. I pretended I didn't care too much that I was going to die, that I had had a good life. But at nights I prayed and begged for a second chance. I wanted to grow old beside my husband and see my baby grow up, but it wasn't meant to be.

_Terminal_

Sometimes I wanted to slip peacefully into oblivion. To never had known I had once existed. That I wouldn't have to remember the last months, practically sanitized from death.

_"why wont you help me!? Why!?" screaming until my throat was raw_

_"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry…." begging for forgiveness_

Sometimes death comes fast and easy. Getting shot, Getting ran over, Getting stabbed, they were all horrible deaths but it wasn't like dying from a disease. That's the worst of the deaths, that slow death that marks your months, weeks, and days. I saw much of it in that hospital room. One of my roommates had once died during the night, and gotten replaced next morning. Cruel. I was probably replaced too, maybe by another mother and wife. Maybe a child… Just another dying patient.

_It is the most cruel of deaths_

~8~

I was never one to believe in reincarnation, I hadn't let myself believe everything would be good after death. This second chance was everything to me. But when I found out where I had been born, my blood ran cold. I had died once and I was not planning to do so again without a fight. This was probably the outlook that saved me those first few years of my life. There was no safety in normality, so I would fight, and I would do more than survive. I would control death. It had been done before in this world hadn't it? By Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, Orochimaru, and probably others before them. So what was it of me that survived from the past? My soul? Laughable.

~8~

I didn't even grumble when my mother picked me up. There had been more humiliating things that I had to do as a baby.

"We are going to visit Uncle and Aunt today, Sayuri" Hisako didn't even bother to make baby faces at me anymore. She had noticed for a while that I was not a normal baby. She pegged me as more as a genius than anything else- not impossible things. Not that I ever dissuaded her from this opinion, after all you cant lie if you don't open your mouth. I was of course learning the language, but had not spoken a word of it.

"He might have news about your father" Hisako's hands tightened on the towel she was holding, almost ignoring me and talking to herself. Father hadn't been back for three weeks since his last mission.

I was picked up and she walked towards the door. "Come Jiro!" My older brother by 4 years ran towards us with a smile and I smiled back. He reminded me so much of….others. We looked very similar, both of us had the same silver hair our father had, but black eyes like our mother. The thing I loved about him was that he never looked at me in a weird way at all.

I felt Hisako's arms tighten around me as we walked into town, I could almost feel the apprehension. I took my chance to look around and blanched. I had never seen my father's headband, but now I saw them on the ninjas that got a wide berth in the town. People almost hunched into themselves and pressed on the walls whenever one would walk too close. Mother kept her heard down and hurried along, Jiro holding on to her skirt.

A ninja meet my gaze and smirked, making the little hairs of my neck stand up. He was blue with very sharp teeth. I dragged out a scowl and stared back. His smile got wider when Hisako covered me with a blanket. I almost yelled at the audacity but stayed quiet, less the damn shark got to close for comfort.

His headband had been three squiggly lines. I shook my head at the incredibility of it.

**Kirigakure. The Village of the Bloody Mist**

Author's notes:

Well this is my first Naruto OC story. I have been trying to write one for a long time. Probaly like lots of us FF readers! Hahaha... but I found out that my character born in konoha never seemed to do anything. It always tried to help naruto, chunin exams...and blah. So I tried to write one about a character born outside of the comfort of semi-peaceful konoha and into the boiling water of the ninja world, where the reality of being a ninja is taught from early on and in cruel ways.

Anyway. I have it written up to the konoha chunin exams timeframe. I dont know if my character will be participating in it. Maybe she wont even go to konoha. Lots of options.

I misspell things sometimes, it happens even if I check it over.

Id like to know how you like the story so let me know in the future...or now.

Well thanks for even reading it. Hope you stick around.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Cultivate

Rating: M

Summary: Sometimes having a second chance to live is not a blessing but a curse. What if you are so afraid of death you are willing to do anything to survive...even if it means killing your own family? Being reborn in a place outside Konoha can be rather cruel. ..

I had been so maniacally focused on something that was not going to happen at all. I needed a new plan. I new way of looking at life. I had already died in agony, and this new life was almost like it. I almost smacked myself again. I had no needs of thoughts like that. I would harden myself against all that would be thrown at me. I would be a ninja, if I wanted to live there was no other option.

I was uncovered and looked into the faces of my aunt and uncle which I hadn't seen before. Mom seemed to stay away from her ninja sister, but I never understood why until now. She looked like a nasty person, like a person who smiles as they hurt you. The man came close and held his arms out for me, and I took them, surprising my mother. He reminded me of my husband and I had done the action before I had noticed it.

"little Sayuri-chan! Hello! And Jiro-kun" he pulled up Jiro and held us each on one arm. His smile was painfully familiar to me. His hair was shoulder length brown, the shape of his face. Only his eyes were different, a jade shade of green and in a moment of weakness I leaned into him. I ignored everything and just enjoyed the moment, pretending that I was back with…Him. I only paid attention to the conversation when I heard Hisako sob in a breath.

"Nothing was recovered from the mission, at this point the hope is almost zero" I straightened and uncle looked down at me sadly. Father was dead? Not that I had held much love for him, but he had been nice when he was at home. I looked towards Jiro who looking at everyone confusedly and hugging Hikaso, mother crying beside him silently. Aunt waved a hand in dismissal and earned an angry look from Uncle "Taka".

* * *

"tell it how it is, He got caught too close to the border of Ame"

3 years later

"what do you mean you are going to be teaching her?"

I looked towards Taka-ojisan calmly, this is what I had been working towards. Being seen training by ninjas on purpose and studying openly in the library. Uncle put his hand on my head and grimace a bit. The three of us were sitting on the living room, and Jiro was off in the Academy at this time of day. Mother looked striken.

"there is no way to hide her talents now Hisako-san. Since that very first time that I met her I could tell that she was very smart. She spends a lot of time in the library and probably has read about 5 times what a genin learns. A lot of ninjas have seen her applying the material when she practices techniques in the forest" I looked away from Hisako when she gave me a harsh look. She had banned me from practicing any techniques and almost tried to get me out of the library but I kept escaping now that she had a job.

"the rumor has spread, and it wont be too long before the Mizukage sets his eyes on her" Mother looked like she had swallowed a lemon. She had been opposed when the jinchuriki had been chosen, now even more that the rumors about him trying to annihilate clans had spread.

"if you teach her she will be in even more danger!"

Uncle brought his hand to his face and rubbed it "you dont understand, its not a choice anymore. It will happen, would you prefer her to enter the field untrained?" He looked up at my mother "She will be at as a disadvantage due to her young age, I can teach her to survive. I checked her chakra earlier and its big for her age. Almost too big, but it will be good for techniques, since she wont be able to use much taijutsu" mother looked pale and angry. She gave me a long look and I didnt fidget under it.

"if you must" she stood up and left without another word. Uncle sighted beside me and patted my head again. "dont worry Sayuri-chan, your mom will come around" I smiled at him and gathered my things, making him roll his eyes. Finally I would get to start training.

"lets go, I have time right now"

I followed him into one of the training grounds and waited for instruction.

"Now, we will start with a physical exam and then I will test you over common knowledge. Lets see how long it takes you to run to the 5th tier and back" I scowled a bit but got into position.

"I like studying better Ojisan" I shot off when he signaled me. I had not overlooked physical exercise at all. Sometimes I wished I had the shadow clones like Naturo so I could workout and study at the same time. Physical fitness was one of the essentials of being ninja, being a second faster than an enemy (or strength) could mean your life. I panted as I came to a stop a few feet away from him.

"not too bad for a four year old" He then proceeded to test me through accuracy, reaction, and concentration exercises.

Finally I got a break and sat down on the grass to drink water.

"what have you been doing to yourself Sayuri-chan? "

I stared at my water instead of him and scowled.

"I want to survive being a ninja"

He came to sit across from me and smiled sadly.

"is this about your dad?" I didnt answer and let him come to his own conclusion.

"why did you practice where everyone could see you? Do you know what being a ninja means? You will never be free Sayuri. Even more at this young age, they will keep on piling expectations upon you" I looked up at him and saw the worry in his eyes. It never failed to bring me back memories, which I shook away with annoyance.

"I did not chose the path of a ninja to be free Ojisama, No one chooses it for that reason" He frowned

"then why?" I swallowed strongly and looked away refusing to answer. How could I tell him that I wanted to become immortal.

"my reasons are my own" he sighted but didnt push for an answer.

* * *

"okay then. Tell me, what do you know about chakra?"

One year later

I threw three kunai, one after the other and three thunks were heard within seconds accompanied by a yelp. I walked towards the sound and smirked at Jiro who was trying to get his clothes out of the hold. "mom is going to kill me, this is the 2nd shirt this week that I ruin, or I mean you! You ruined it!" I smirked at his feeble movements of him trying to not rip the shirt more. "you should have been spying on me"

"I wasnt! Its time for dinner" was it that late? I walked forward and pulled the kunai out of the tree. "are you excited? The graduation test is tomorrow! How cool! You and me might be put together, I hope we are on the same team, that way I can protect you" I rolled my eyes at him as he grabbed my hand. He was only 8 years old and graduating early. Of course, I was graduating at 5 but I had never been a child in this life. I was more apprehensive than anything about graduating, even though I had worked towards this. Uncle had worked me to the ground constantly with Jiro joining us once in a while.

"not really, and I dont think we will be on the same team. The two of us are young and will be probably be put with older kids" his shoulders dropped and he grouched for a while. Mother received us with a smile told us to go wash up. It was dark already when we walked back to the kitchen. Mother was refusing to look at us.

"whats wrong?" uncle was standing by the door with a blank face.

"Change of plans, you will be taken to the exam right now" I paled after a few seconds, understanding what was going on. Jiro was yelling about dinner and I tuned him out. We were being taken to the Blood Duels? I had heard the whisperings about the testing but never truly believed they were going to be held this year, that people had agreed to it. Many had died in the last four years due to the killing of the clans, but this. I hadn't expected it.

* * *

"Sayuri!" I straightened into attention at the order. "pay attention, this is no time to be dillydallying, lets go" I automatically followed him outside still a little bit in shock. I knew that I could take anyone in our class, that didnt mean squat in this. I knew that I would eventually kill as a ninja but this was something different. Could I kill a child? I had had a son once, would I see his face on them as I slit their throat. I gagged a bit and Jiro gave me a worried look. I waved him away. Taka-ojisan's hand came to my shoulder to guide me and to offer me a bit of comfort.

Author's notes: oh oh. Hey I just made up a term. Blood duels. That what im goin to call them since wiki didnt give me anything on them. And yes. I think you know whats coming!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Never Coming Down

Rating: M

Summary: Sometimes having a second chance to live is not a blessing but a curse. What if you are so afraid of death you are willing to do anything to survive...even if it means killing your own family? Being reborn in a place outside Konoha can be rather cruel. ..

_Notes: The format is wrong! Oh man. I'll use different separators this time. I feel like a loner... do you guys like it. Nay or yay? _

"why are we getting tested today Ojisan? Did they realize how amazing we are!? I bet they did!"

I wanted to drag Jiro back home with me, he was too young for this. I knew he wasnt capable of killing someone...or would he? At the edge of desperation? I hope the he would, no matter how much of a monster that made him.

"Be quiet Jiro"

Jiro realized that this was a bit more serious when uncle used that tone with him. He tried to look me in the eyes but I didnt dare meet them. We arrived at the door of the academy where other kids were arriving already, quickly being ushered into the training grounds. On top of the railings was the mizukage watching us come in. I saw a glint of red and shuddered when I felt something watching me. _Madara. _Was this amusing to him? Watching mist children kill each other to survive? Or maybe I was just imagining him being there, after all I knew he was pulling the strings.

But if this was the first test that gave Mist its nickname it meant that the original timeline hadnt even started yet! I looked towards uncle helplessly and his hand only tightened on my shoulder, before pushing me into the lines. Above us the jounin started joining the mizukage. Kisame was there too, with all the other 6 swordmen. Zabuza wasnt among them, hadnt he killed a whole class as a child? Did that mean I was older than him? Our Aunt was there too, smiling at Jiro cruelly and he waved back proudly.

Suddenly I wasnt afraid anymore, and the voices started wavering and I couldnt understand what was being said. Jiro clawed at my hand and scared yells of children filled the stadium. I was pulled away and saw two children shaking in the middle of the arena. They were being held back by two ninjas.

I jumped when I felt pain in my arm and looked down to see that Jiro had stabbed me with one of my Senbon. I pulled it out and put it back on my pouch calmly.

"I'm okay Jiro-niisan" he was wide eyed and shaking, like the rest of the kids among us. I turned back to the arena when I heard a scream and saw that both of the kids had been hit by kunai from a jouinin on the rails. Not in lethal spots though.

"you will not be told again. BEGIN NOW!"

I turned my head away from the fight and ignored the gurgles that I heard a few minutes later.

I instead turned to look at my uncle and saw him staring back calmly. How had this been allowed?

"Arata and Kaito. Center now!"

Jiro was hyperventilating beside me and I turned my attention to him. I pulled him down to my level and slapped him on the cheek. I dragged him back away from the view and looked him in the eyes.

"Listen to me Jiro. This is no time to Panic. You will go out there-" He looked away when we heard a scream of terror and he let out a sob. "That was Kaito. Kaito is dead."

I pulled on him again and urgently whispered to him. "you will go out there and survive you hear me Jiro. I dont care what it takes. You are a ninja! Say it!"

His lip wavered he looked so scared. "I-I am a ninja"

"thats right Jiro, ninja kill to survive. Understand? You will go out there and survive"

There was a moment were I could only hear our breaths as they joined each other between our faces. I took in his shiny silver hair and his wide scared eyes and smiled at him. "I love you Jiro" his face relaxed a bit and he took my hand.

"Sayuri and Jiro. Center now"

"Sayuri-chan?"

I held him up in my arms, not allowing him to hit the floor, hugging him against me. His eyes were wide with betrayal and fear.

"I am so very sorry Jiro-niichan" I heard the squelch as I turned the Kunai in deeper into his chest, making him choke and push weakly against me. His hands eventually lost strength and fell t o his side. His eyes were still looking into mine and they closed sharply, not wanting to see me again. I looked into his face though, not forgetting that this was my doing.

He dropped into my arms and his breath stopped, marking the end of his life. I had done it quickly, kill him that is. When he was still confused, still fighting the fear of wanting to protect me and survive at the same time. I hadnt given him time to choose before I plunged the Kunai. I felt another piece of me break. The sanity that I had been holding on to since I had been brought into this cruel world shattering even more.

I let his body fall to the floor, he wasnt there anymore, I had seen to that. I didnt meet the eyes of those looking at me, both the kids and the men and women standing on the rail. I did look up to the mizukage with a blank face, a glint of red shining behind him. I looked towards it and it disappeared, like I had just imagined it.

"Yoshida Sayuri wins the match" The monotone voice of the jounin informed, like my brother's blood wasnt soaking my shirt and now pooling around my feet. I walked away to the part reserved for the winners and sat down to watch the rest of the massacre. A man handed me a headband and I traced the symbol with my fingers. Blood filled the grooves and I wanted to smirk at the irony.

I moved to tie it around my neck and let out a chuckle. The Bloody Mist indeed.


End file.
